The Rarebit Fiend - Next Week's Preview - R.A.Wonsowski

Panels 1 thru 5 should be done in the Japanese manga style; Panel 6 reverts to the usual for the artist.

Panel 1 - TRUTH-SAYING BASTARD SPIDEY (the anime version of intrepid journalist SPIDER JERUSALEM, like so:
   as you see here, and will now abreviate as TSBS) is winking at us through Warner Bros.-esque concentric circles, giving us the finger.

COPY (in neon script):  彼の真実はあなたの湿った脳を耕すを許可する - ここで真実言うスパイダーマンです！

CAPTION:  Allow his hard truth to penetrate your moist brain! - You can not resist him! - TRUTH-SAYING BASTARD SPIDEY!

Panel 2 - TSBS is sitting on a curb outside a voting center.  Anthropomorphic animals wait queued up outside to take their turn.  An armoured City cop is standing guard, his best truncheon in his hand, his riot shield has VOTE! written in red spray paint upon it.  TSBS is shooting heroin between his toes.

TSBS:  Kids!  Let the pretending that we can make a difference BEGIN!

Panel 3 - TSBS has a puppet that looks a lot like Ernie from Sesame Street in a pinstripe suit on his hand, his other hand holds two cigarettes, both lit.  He points at the puppet with the cigarettes.

OFF-PANEL, multiple speakers in unison:  Did! You! Know?!?

TSBS:  Like this homunculous of felt and foam, a politician can not speak without someone's hand up his ass!

COPY (in neon script):  あなたの政治委員会を知っている!

CAPTION:  Know your Super PAC Puppeteers!

Panel 4 - TSBS in a voting booth, curtain open, both cigarettes between his teeth as he smiles at us over his shoulder, pants around his ankles, is urinating on the voting machine.  He is twice as tall as anyone else in the panel.  Old ladies look on in horror and disgust, another City cop is coming in for the arrest, angry at the scene.

TSBS:  Let us say I am your government!  This voting machine is the people!  See how I quench your thirst for fairness and equality!

Panel 5 - TSBS is now out on the street.  He is now 20 feet tall.  His back is to us, and he is finishing stripping naked.  Fizz dots surround his head as the toe-heroin kicks in.  He is surrounded at his feet by buxom Japanese women dressed as schoolgirls, who all gaze up at him in either love, lust, or awe.

TSBS:  My civic duty increases the orgone energy!  My blood becomes soma, and women everywhere can taste my tangy musk!  Because DEMOCRACY!

Panel 6 - ("normal art") Through a open doorway, we see a naked SPIDER JERUSALEM, (gratefully, his back is still to us) standing in his open window on the balcony, fizz dots swimming around his head like in the previous panel.  He is pointing at his nether-regions, shouting down to the street.  Outside the doorway, we see his filthies, YELENA (on the left side of the door) and CHANNON (on the right).  YELENA is angrily gritting her teeth at CHANNON, who is responding to her defensively.

YELENA:  What the hell, Channon?  It was just Welsh rarebit, right?

CHANNON:  Yeah, but who knows what he keeps in that spice rack?

SPIDER:  GAZE UPON MY MAGNIFICENCE, PHILISTINES!

The Rarebit Fiend - Secret Origin - J.D. Coughlan

Panel 1: A 1930s clothing store. There is a young man of about 18 helping his father, the store owner. There should be one or two oddball things in the background throughout -- people with animal heads, floating bacon, whatever dream nonsense you care to imagine, but not so much as to distract. The younger man (the dreamer) is noticeably distracted by the weirdness, but, as one does in a dream, is just going along with it.

OLDER MAN: The ginger bald man wants a purple coat, and then take those new orders to the globe in the sky.

YOUNG MAN: Uh, okay, pop!

Panel 2: A cliched robber burst in the door, wearing a domino mask, flat cap, and striped jumper, carrying a sack with a dollar sign on it.

ROBBER: Front page! Robbery in the city of tomorrow!

Panel 3: The Robber points his gun at the older man, who is behind the register, not fazed.

ROBBER: Gimme all yer money, and thirty-six elements!

OLDER MAN: This mockery of truth and justice will not stand!

Panel 4: The Robber fires his gun. The young man in the background, looking horrified.

ROBBER: You just bought the farm!

YOUNG MAN: Dad! No!

Panel 5: With a blur trailing in from off-panel, a generic superhero appears between the gun and the older man, the bullet bouncing off him. He has no symbol on his chest, but wears a cape and his colours are red and blue. He has jet-black hair and a square jaw.

SUPERHERO: More powerful than a speeding bullet!

Panel 6: The Superhero punches out the Robber.

SUPERHERO: Crime doesn't pay!

Panel 7: The Superhero and both men celebrating.

YOUNG MAN: You saved my pa!

Panel 8: A slightly older Jerry Siegel lies awake in his bed. He has not catapulted awake, but rather is just lying there with sad eyes.

SIEGEL: (small) If only...

END OF PAGE

The Rarebit Fiend – Tied Down & Freefall – Shaun Richens.

ONE PAGE

9 PANELS

PAGE LAYOUT

12

34

56

78

99

1. A young Black woman, henceforth known as Female Fiend, lies on her back, tied down on a beach. Miniature men, the size of smurfs in comparison to the woman stand at the base of the ropes holding her in place. The miniature men wear suits, top hats and monocles; they each have a revolver holstered at the waist. The leader of the miniature men stands on the bosom of Female Fiend.

         LEADER:

         Good show old boys. Hold her down.

         FEMALE FIEND:

         I do declare minuscule men? How bizarre.

2. A young, yet bald white man sits facing us in a wheelchair. He is henceforth known as Male Fiend. Standing behind him holding onto the wheelchair handles but leaning down to speak into Male Fiends ear is a man who looks exactly like him, we shall call him Doppelganger.

         DOPPELGANGER:

         I am ever so sorry old bean.

3. Close up on Female Fiend, she is looking right at us, her bosom rising in the foreground, the leader of the miniature men standing proudly between them, he is facing her, back to us.

         LEADER:

How bizarre? You dare speak like that to the men of the order.

4. Same basic layout as 2. However we pull right back to reveal that Male Fiend and Doppelganger are at the top of a huge dam. Doppelganger has lifted and pushed the wheelchair forward spilling Male Fiend out of it and down the side of the dam. Male Fiend is falling towards the base of the panel, which looks like pure black smoke creeping up the panel.

         DOPPELGANGER:

         Nothing personal you do understand.

5. Side on view of Female Fiend tied down, her head at the right of the panel looking left. The leader still on her chest has stridden forward his revolver raised in front of him pointing at Female Fiend.

         LEADER:

         You shall pay for your insubordinate words foul wench.

         FEMALE FIEND:

         Hehe Tiny guns, how adorable.

6. Male Fiend is freefalling, his limbs out stretched trying to slow his descent. The backdrop is black, stars and planets shine and spin behind him.

         MALE FIEND:

         Bugger.

7. Close up on Female Fiends face. She has lots of tiny smoke spots on her cheeks and forehead from the revolver shots Leader has fired at her. The top hat of Leader can be seen at the base of the panel.

        

         FEMALE FIEND:

         Please stop, that does ever so tickle.

         LEADER 1:

         I was to take you for my wife.

         LEADER 2:

         No more!

8. From above Male Fiend looking down, he is in the classic arms out bent at the elbow sky diving position. Below him we can see the silhouette of someone tied up.

         MALE FIEND 1:

         I do declare a minuscule woman? How bizarre.

MALE FIEND 2:

Or perhaps she is merely far away.

9. Female and Male fiend are sat up in bed together. They are looking at each other with confused expressions. In the foreground next to the bed is a wheelchair tipped on its side, the wheel highest up still spinning. Female Fiends face still has the tiny smoke spots from panel 7.

         FEMALE AND MALE FIEND:

         Well I do declare…

The Rarebit Fiend – Dreampool – MK Stangeland Jr.

(9 Panels)

At the bottom of the page is a single long panel featuring a sleeping DEADPOOL. Thought balloon bubbles come out of his head to create the actual panels, which are framed as being part of his dream.

Panel 1: DEADPOOL stands against a blank white canvas, looking around.

Panel 2: DEADPOOL has his hands cupped against his mouth.

DEADPOOL: Hel-LOOOO!

Panel 3: DEADPOOL looks around again to see if there’s any response.

Panel 4: DEADPOOL is walking across the blank white canvas, waiting to see if anything happens.

DEADPOOL: I said Hel-LOOOO!

Panel 5: DEADPOOL is standing with bent knees as his arms are held up and he shouts into the sky.

DEADPOOL: WHY WON’T ANYTHING HAPPEN TO ME?!

Panel 6: DEADPOOL is standing again, looking frustrated and annoyed by the way he’s standing.

DEADPOOL (1): Worst.

DEADPOOL (2): Dream.

DEADPOOL (3): EVER!

Panel 7: DEADPOOL has the bottom half of his body covered up by the bottom of the dream/thought bubble/balloon. He looks like a mix of disappointed and depressed.

DEADPOOL: *Sigh!*

Panel 8: Similar to the previous panel, but DEADPOOL’s head is leaning now, too.

DEADPOOL: Last time I ever have rarebit before bed.

(END PAGE)

The Rarebit Fiend- A Fresh Start -Dan Hill

PAGE ONE: Eight panels

Panel One:
We open on a profile shot of a young couple sat opposite each other in a booth in a busy late night diner. The YOUNG WOMAN sits on the right side of the panel. She stirs her coffee ildly whilst looking across the table at the YOUNG MAN sat opposite her. They both look haggard and tired.

MAN: It's not going to work...

Panel Two:
The woman looks up at the ceiling. Please let this be over. The man continues. It's raining outside now.

MAN: --we made a mistake--

Panel Three:
A waitress stands by the table pouring more coffee. The woman looks up at her, silently thanking her stripes for contact from someone other than this guy.

MAN: --incapable of sharing yourself--

Panel Four:
The man grows frustrated. He's not getting through. The woman remains nonchalant.

MAN: --so closed off--

Panel Five:
The man continues. But he's given up. He motions to the waitress for the cheque.

MAN: --head buried in the past--

Panel Six:
The woman sits in the booth by herself. The man is getting up to leave.

MAN: --not even listening--

Panel Seven:
Nothing but black.

MAN(TAILLESS): --you listening?

WOMAN(TAILLESS): Sorry, I drifted off a bit...

Panel Eight:

CUT TO the same young man and woman sitting in a small kitchen somewhere in a cramped apartment. A single candle illuminates the scene. On the table in front of them is a plate of Welsh Rarebit.

They both look fresher, younger, more vibrant. Both of them are smiling at each other.

WOMAN: Some first date, huh?

MAN: A date? I mean...are you sure?

WOMAN: ...

The Rarebit Fiend - Daredevil Dreamer - Grant McLaughlin

Four rows of two panels each.

1 - The central ring of a circus tent.  Dan Daring stands in the spotlight, waving to the audience.  An unseen announcer talks about what will be happening.  The word balloons should be unconnected and have that spiky look as if it's coming from a PA system or something.

ANNOUNCER: Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the Dazzling Dan Daring and his Death-Defying Deeds of Derring-Do!  Prepare to be amazed by his exciting exploits and amazing adventures!

2 - Still in the central ring.  Dan stands at a single kitchen counter that has appeared, cutting up some meat.

ANNOUNCER: Behold as he prepares food without first washing his hands!

3 - Dan rides his bicycle around the ring.  He does not wear a helmet.

ANNOUNCER: Stand amazed as he rides his bicycle without proper protective gear!

4 - An above ground pool has appeared in the middle of the ring.  Dan swims leisurely in it.

ANNOUNCER: Watch as he goes for a swim without a life jacket!

5 - A voting station sits in the middle of the ring.  Dan stands behind a small screen with an image circle and 'x' through it on its front, doing his civic duty.

ANNOUNCER: Observe as he votes without giving due consideration to the issues or the party platforms!

6 - Dan sits in a large, wingback chair in front of a roaring fireplace.  He wears a smoking jacket, smokes a pipe, and a tumbler of brandy sits on the nearby endtable.

ANNOUNCER: See him read a newspaper with questionable journalistic integrity!


7 - Dan is not there, but two bags of garbage sit in the middle of the ring.  Smell lines emanate from them, as do a few flies.

ANNOUNCER: And in his final stunning stunt, smell as Dan forgets to take the garbage out for the second straight week!

8 - The traditional Rarebit Fiend final panel.  Dan is jolting awake, sitting up in the bed.  His wife Miriam is lying on the bed, turned away.

DAN: Miriam!  I just had the most horrid nightmare!

MIRIAM: I tol' you not to have that rarebit.

The Rarebit Fiend - A Dream is a Wish - Ben Rosenthal

1. A man awakens in his bed, very similar to what the last panel of a typical Rarebit Fiend comic.

MAN

What a worrisome dream.  I shall have to write it down immediately!

2.  The man sits at a desk scrawling away on his piece of paper.  However the words are illegible.  They are symbols and random strokes.

3.  The man has reached the end of his page.  There is no more room left to write

4.  The man is continuing to write in the same fashion, but onto his desk.

5.  The man is on his knees writing on the floor.  The trail of scrawling can be seen running up the desk, on top of his desk to its beginning at the top of the page.  However the words on top of the page have begun the rise from the paper, which is still laying flat on the table. 

6. Same as Panel 5, but the words have formed into a monstrous shape with a large mouth and teeth.  It is bearing down on the man who has still yet to notice the monster he has created.

7.  The text monster’s mouth is closing in around the man’s upper half of his body.  Only now has the man noticed, and realising it is too late to do anything is cowering.

8.  Same as Panel 1.

MAN

What a worrisome dream.  I shall have to write it down immanently!

The Rarebit Fiend - Dream Theater - Niel Jacoby

4 rows, 2 wide panels each.

Panel 1: Our Rarebit Fiend for this installment, a smaller, mousy younger guy, is sitting in a theater seat, somewhat bored. We see him from the side, and we can't see the screen, but we can see that the theater isn't exactly well-populated.

Fiend: OH, THIS FEATURE HAS GONE ON FOR MUCH TOO LONG! I HAVE HALF A MIND TO VACATE THIS SEAT PERMANENTLY.

Panel 2: He is surprised and looking towards the screen.

Screen(OP): OH YEAH? WELL, BUDDY, WE AREN'T EXACTLY ENTHUSED BY AN AUDIENCE LIKE YOURSELF.

Panel 3: He is indignated, pointing a finger at the screen. We can see the face of one of the people onscreen, a sort of pretty boy main character, leaning into frame from above, large as someone on the silver screen would be.

Fiend: I DON'T SEE HOW IT'S MY FAULT THAT YOU'RE NOT ENTERTAINING ME!

Panel 4: Another person from onscreen, a more stereotypical bruiser type, has burst out, and is glaring at the Fiend.

Screen 2: AND I DON' SEE HOW Y'TINK Y'CAN INSULT MY CO-WORKERS AND TINK YOU'LL STAY IN YA PREVIOUS SHAPE!

Screen 1: WHOA, WHOA, THERE'S NO NEED FOR ROUGHHOUSING HERE, GENTLEMEN! LET'S NOT MAKE THIS TOO BIG OF A DEAL!

Panel 5: The bruiser is getting into the face of the main character pretty boy, while the Fiend cringes behind some seats.

Screen 2: I'LL SHOW YA WEAK, YA SLICK-TONGUE SAP!

Panel 6: The bruiser is looking at the Fiend, who has tried to run away, and has been grabbed by the coattails by the bruiser, and is trying to run away, his legs whirling, while the pretty boy looks on, afraid.

Screen 2: AH, DON' TINK I'M DONE UP WIT' YOU, PENCIL-NECK.

Panel 7: bruiser is pulling the Fiend ever closer, while the pretty boy pleads and pleads

SCREEN 2: AAAAH, DAT'S IT, DAT'S IT, DERE WE GO, DERE WE GO

SCREEN: PLEASE NO, THIS DOESN'T HAVE TO BE THIS WAY, PLEASE!

Panel 8: the Fiend's bed, a simpler wire type of thing. He's fallen on the floor in front of the footboard, face down, his legs tied up in sheets in the bed.

Fiend: OOF, THOSE RAREBITS, THEY MAY WELL DAMAGE MY TEETH MORE THAN THOSE DEATHLY STALE BUISCITS IF I'M NOT CAREFUL.

Why The Rarebit Fiend?

Dream Of The Rarebit Fiend is a pretty great strip, with an amazing framework, in which anything, as in dreams, is possible.

Written under the pen name Silas(it was for contractual reasons, because the comics business in 1904 was cutthroat as hell) by Little Nemo creator Winsor McKay, the strip began in 1904, and ended 9 years later in 1913. The strip had a common flow: a dream, always with a different dreamer, begins somewhat normal, gets weird quick, and before it hits the bad end of the weirdness, that classic cliched ending: It was all a dream caused by those damnable rarebits.

But that doesn't make it unfulfilling. It makes it predictable, yes, but it's not about the destination, it's about the crooked, though somehow alluring, flow of the dialogue and the strange situations McKay draws up before pulling the rug at the last moment.

If you want to join in, c'mon, man! The comments section is open and consenting.

If you'd like to read more of these damnable rarebit comics, you can find them, along with McKay's own Little Nemo and George Herriman's classic Krazy Kat at The Comic Strip Library. Fair warning, it can get pretty 1900s-era type bigoted at times, so keep that in mind.